I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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