Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
