Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize