im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize