Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
