I can tuck mytits in my pants
what day is it and did you see me today?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
