oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
