I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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