we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
