I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
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