Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
