My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
