so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
