Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
