I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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