yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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