I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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