im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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