I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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