that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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