ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When did we convert life to cartoon?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
