I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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