Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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