he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
