I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
