i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
