i barfeds in our rink
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
