Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
