we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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