Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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