so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
