Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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