The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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