Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize