so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
