hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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