I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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