They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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