I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize