I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
