I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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