remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
