We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
