Pregnant stripper...not hot.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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