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Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
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