Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine