remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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