Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
