Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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