There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
