His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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