so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to