Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.