Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
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the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
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To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?