He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
