Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
