the condom got lost in my hair
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
