nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
