It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How naked do you want me to be?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize