she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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