Where did you get a picture of my penis
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
two words...techno handjob
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize