the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
