he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
