drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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