Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
