did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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